Bitterness turns to thankfulness

Yesterday, I failed.  I failed to remember to stop and be thankful for anything. In fact, I was probably more bitter than thankful.

My husband and I sat down to try and do a budget, which also failed. I had known for sometime that just to live we spent more than we made. But seeing it in black and white made it all the more real. The most frustrating thing is that we have cut everything, except of course our tithe and savings. We don't have dish or cable, we don't have newspaper or magazine subscriptions, we shop at Aldi and Goodwill, and the only reason we haven't dumped the internet is because I have to have it for my part-time job. We were trying to set up the budget according to Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover but it just isn't happening. So as I said earlier, yesterday we were both bitter and frustrated and down right defeated.

As I went to sleep last night, I prayed over and over for God to make it all work. Our preacher said recently that he believes that one day when we get to Heaven, God will open a door to a room full of things He wanted to give us on Earth, but we never asked. So I was asking, and asking, and asking. Not to have an extreme overabundance, but to have enough to go around. So that I don't have to tell my kids that we can't becasue we don't have the money. To buy something on the shelf at the grocery store because we want it or it's better for us and not have to look at the price. Is that too much to ask for? I didn't think so, so that was my prayer as I drifted off to sleep

Today, I woke up still feeling bummed about the whole thing. But I also had a fresh pair of eyes to look at our situation. As I read my Bible this morning amid the chaos of Mega-Block towers and a lively game of Transformers, I realized that I had been looking at this all wrong. True, we still didn't have a whole lot of money, and the outlook as far as I could see was not too exciting, but there was something I had forgotten. At least we could pay our bills. They might occasionally be a few days late, and there might be nothing left afterward, but we were paying them. And we were able to pay them because God had blessed my husband with a job that allowed me to stay home with the children (saving us bukoos of money on daycare.)

In today's economy, there are still so many people without jobs. We have a very good friend, in fact who is unemployed with a wife, a toddler, and another one on the way. Why is it that I would think that I have the right to complain about not having any moeny when we have money?! Through God we have food in our bellies (even if it isn't the healthiest), a roof over our head, and clothes on our backs.  We have our children who love us and we have each other. What more could we need?

So today, instead of being bitter, I'm going to be thankful. Today I am thankful for...

My husband's job. This is the powerplant where he works in Havana. It's the whole reason we moved to our new home, and why I have made new friends, and why my faith has been tested and proven. God has a plan and it is His plan that I desire to follow, whether penniless or prosperous.