A butt kicking in the pew

Today's sermon really kicked my butt. Our preacher has been doing a series of sermons on what a Christian home should look like and how we get there. Today's was on how a woman "steps up and supports" (since that is her role in the Christian Home). Let me tell you what! I think that sermon was written for me. It was like God was talking to me through Pastor telling me to get my act together.

I fall short in so many aspects of wife and mother. I openly admit to it. I pray daily to be a better wife and mother, though somehow it never seems to come about. I yell at my kids FAR too much and sometimes almost completely ignore my husband as far as our relationship goes. There is always more month than money. My house is always a disaster with toys, the occasional pair of dirty socks, couch pillows and fruit snack wrappers on the floor. There is always clean piles of laundry in the chair, or on the table and in the baskets. And don't even get me started on the dishes!! But that is NOT what I want for my family. I want to be the kind of wife/mother that keeps a perfect budget, cooks five star meals every night for dinner, has perfectly well-rounded children, that can create masterpieces, create coupon envy among other moms, have an imacculate house, and be my husband's arm candy. However, I seem unable to do any of that. I feel like everyone who can do that kind of stuff is over there and I'm right here and have no idea how to get over with everyone else.

So the message today was incredibly hard for me to hear. It included things like making time for you husband and creating a nurturing home in which to raise your children. Very often, I remorse about my inability to be good at my position in my home, and so to hear again that I am failing in my duties as assigned by God was like ripping out my heart and doing the Mexican Hat Dance on it.

I had already been working on my roles before the sermon series started since they were numbers one and two on my goals for this year, so I know that this message was to help me do just that. It doesn't make it any easier to sit through, though. I know that with God's help, I will be able to meet my goals of being a better wife and mother and this sermon this morning, no matter how much it got me down, was meant to guide me on my way.

Thank you Lord for your guidance. I pray that you would give me the strength and courage to follow the path you have laid out before me. In Jesus' name, Amen.