Sunday, April 3, 2011

Thoughts of being a "Good Wife"

Wow, has it really been almost a month since I sat down to capture some of my thoughts??? It's easy how life gets away from us like that, isn't it?

Well over the last month a lot has rolled around in this head of mine, some good, some not so good and still others that really just kinda rolled on through and waved as they passed. The one that has been in the forefront of my mind as of late (besides reenacting) is my role as wife and mother. I know that in my Goals for 2011, numbers 1 & 2 are concerning this very subject and I have made a substantial effort to being better in both areas. I have been trying several different ideas on how to keep up with the housework and off Facebook and out of the sewing station a bit more. I'm still tweaking the system, but it's getting there. However, over this past month I have really been striving to do more. I continuously think of June Cleaver and how I wish I could be her. It's really hard to explain the drive behind my emotions and thoughts on the whole subject so just go with me. I was doing a little research on housewives of the 1950's and came across this blog post. It lists an excerpt from another woman's blog who was talking of an article written in 1955 about how to be a "good housewife". As I read through the list I began to feel empowered. True, there were some things on the list I didn't quite agree with, such as this one
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first -remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
but I realize, unlike a few of the commentors on the post, that the idea behind the entire list is love. I love and respect my husband and want to do all that I can to show him that. I really feel drawn to the idea of being more domestic and desire very much to learn the trade. However, as with most things, I am having a hard time staying on track. There are days (like today) where I set out with good intentions then find that I have spent the entire day (not really but it feels like it) sitting and reading through the Sewing Academy forums. But I guess that's what it's like when you are trying to change you ways of thinking and behaving as well as attitude.

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I were talking about how some groups of faith wear skirts and dresses. I personally don't agree with the practice, but that's another topic for another day. Anyway, during our conversation I stopped and asked him what he thought. He said that women should dress up when they go out with their husbands. I questioned him a bit more and he got frustrated and said that I put him on the spot and "[didn't] know" I tried to tell him that I wasn't trying to trap him, as I think that's what he thought, rather I was just trying to figure out what he wanted so that I could please him in one more area. Now I know that sounds a bit absurd to most people, especially in today's feminist world, but it's how I feel. I want to meet the expectations of my husband, just as every wife does, but I want to make sure that I am meeting as many as possible. If he thinks that I need a dress/skirt with hair and makeup when we go grocery shopping, then that's what I want to do for him, because I love him. Now I'm not saying that every time we go I am going to be able to pull that off, but if that's what he desires, then that's what I want to do.

See, these are the kinds of things that I have been struggling with lately. And I say struggling not because I don't want to do them, but because I want to and just haven't figured out how yet. I'm sure in time and with God's help, I will get it all down. Good thing we've got lots more years of being married for me to figure it all out!! :)